I have an enemy lurking in my home. It doesn’t bother to hide, but instead taunts me every day, daring me to come closer, attempting to suck me into its dark, dark world. Yes, the enemy I speak of is my bathroom scale. It’s an unassuming little scale, nothing fancy, just a regular bathroom scale. It doesn’t talk to me, (although I have spoken to it a number of times, words which will not be repeated in this blog), it doesn’t tell me my body fat content, it doesn’t keep track of previous weigh ins, it just gives me the daily number should I dare to step on it.
Why do I consider this object my enemy? Well, because it never seems to be on my side. It never seems to give me the positive, encouraging information I seek. Even on days when I am sure I am doing well, I feel thin, I think I look thin my enemy gives me discouraging information.
Now I know that they, whoever they are, say that it’s not about the number, it’s about how your clothes fit, how you feel, how you look. And ‘they’ also say, not to weigh yourself every day, but once a week or perhaps once a month. But let’s be honest, we all have a magic number in our heads that we want to see. And we will try as often as we are feeling brave enough to see how we are doing in achieving that magic number. We know that magic number can change by as much as 2-5lbs in a few days depending on a lot of factors, but we still hope to see that magic number. Those magic numbers that will make us feel better, happier, thinner and proud of what we have accomplished. That magic number that if we don’t see it, causes us anxiety, disappointment and sometimes confusion. Not seeing that magic number can drive us to extremes, such as an unrealistic increase in our exercise, or in some cases consuming that dessert because it just doesn’t seem like you are ever going to get to that magic number.
The problem is that magic number is many times an unrealistic number for us. It’s a number we may have seen in our youth or teen years, it’s a number off some chart we saw or from some article we read somewhere, but it is not a number we should expect to see in our more mature years. If we were honest with ourselves we would realize that and we would stop seeking that magic number and instead focus on being truly healthy at whatever number we currently seeing.
Will I stop fighting this enemy of mine? No, probably not. It’s a competition between myself and that scale. No matter how much my head knows that it’s not about that magic number, my heart says “you can do this”. So unless my bathroom scale grows legs and walks out of my bathroom, or I pick it up and toss it out (which isn’t going to happen), that scale will be there in my bathroom, luring me into its grip, taunting me to step on board and get my number for the day. The difference is I am not going to let the number of the day dictate how the rest of my day will go and I am going to adjust that magic number to be more realistic for me and where I am right now in life.
Good luck magic number seekers, I hope you see whatever number will put a smile on your face today. But more importantly I hope you will see yourself for the wonderful, beautiful creation that you are and will hold your head high knowing that you were ‘fearfully and wonderfully made” Psalms 139:14.
Your fellow magic number seeker,