The 5 Love Languages

Have you read the books by Gary Chapman entitled, The 5 Love Languages?  If you have not then I strongly suggest you get your hands on one of these books.  Mr. Chapman has written a number of versions of his original The 5 Love Languages including The 5 Love Languages of Singles, The 5 Love Languages of Children and The 5 Love Languages of Teenagers.  These books will help you mature the many relationships you have in your life in a way that is truly meaningful.   These books will not only help you learn your own love language but also help you understand your spouse, child or teenager, friends and co-workers.  Don’t like to read, they come in e-books and audio editions too.

Below is a post that was on Facebook recently, it summarizes the 5 Love Languages and include do’s and don’ts.  While the chart is self-explanatory I still recommend getting a hold of a copy of whichever of the versions of The 5 Love Languages you are interested in and really getting into the reasoning and logic behind each love language.

I have read The 5 Love Languages and The 5 Love Languages of Teenagers.  And while at times I still struggle to keep in mind the differences between myself and my husband and how we respond differently to the love languages, I have that knowledge as a resource and as a helpful reminder that we are all different and we all respond differently to affection, friendship, and emotional stimulus.

I hope that you will benefit as much as I have from The 5 Love Languages and would love to get your feedback.

Paula

*any resemblance to real or imagined individuals, living or dead, is purely unintentional.  All opinions here are solely the opinion of the author. If you see yourself in this post, oops!

Love Languages

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Let’s talk talking or what is my talking style?

ConversationsLet’s talk talking. You know that almost lost art of communication where people speak words to each other verbally. Now those that know me, know I like to text, and if you truly know me you know why, but for those who don’t know me or know why it is because I find that texting is sometimes a more convenient way to ‘talk’ to someone because I don’t know if their current situation will allow verbal communication or perhaps it is my current situation does not allow it and to be honest I am a lot more articulate on “paper” than I am verbally.

With that being said, let’s talk talking.

There seems to be a few different styles of talking or communicating verbally. There is the monologue style.   According to one definition a monologue is “a prolonged talk or discourse by a single speaker, especially one dominating or monopolizing a conversation.”  Now I admit there are times when a monologue is appropriate, such as, comedians, teachers, professors, CEO’s, etc… But I am sure we all know someone outside of those examples who just can’t help themselves they monopolize conversations.

The next talking style is the ever popular lecture style. A lecture is defined as “a speech of warning or reproof as to conduct; a long, tedious reprimand.” This is where a monologue could end up if you are not careful and attune to your ‘audiences’ reactions. This is what we were regularly accused of giving to our children when they were young. “The Lecture.” The beginning of the lecture (and they knew it was coming) was usually preceded by eye rolls from our girls, then the zoned out look about half way through. If we had been smart we would have stopped sooner but we didn’t always follow our gut and just stop so sometimes it didn’t end as well as we had hoped. I wondered sometimes we thought that after we had to ‘lecture’ our daughters they were going to say “Oh thank you mommy and daddy for that lecture, you are so right and I was so wrong?” Yeah right, that never happened!

Finally there is the conversational style of talking. A Conversation is defined as “informal interchange of thoughts, information, etc., by spoken words; oral communication between persons; talk; colloquy (a conversational exchange, dialogue).”

I like conversations.  I like this definition because it says an informal interchange of thoughts and information. I like the give and take of an informal conversation. Unlike the monologue or the lecture, which tend to focus on one topic, conversations can be about anything and everything and all in the same conversation.  I like the sharing of ideas, thoughts, and opinions in an informal, non threatening atmosphere. I also like the ‘small talk’ that happens when you are first getting to know someone. The easy questions you ask to learn more about them. I enjoy the ‘small talk’ that happens when you get together with friends and family as you catch up on their lives. I like laughing about things with people. I personally don’t think all conversations have to be in-depth, probing, serious or based on current affairs. Sometimes it’s just nice to talk to someone about little things, silly things and know that they are listening to you with genuine interest and to return that interest by listening to them. There is a time and place for serious conversations but be aware that there is a fine line between talking “with” someone (conversation) and talking “at” someone (lecture or monologue). Remembering this is important to having true conversations with people and developing those relationships that are important to you.

So the next time you are engaged in conversation with someone think about it, are you really conversing or are you engaging in a monologue or a lecture? Are you allowing that person to share their own thoughts and ideas or are you dominating the conversation with your own thoughts and ideas?   It’s an easy trap to fall into.  I have to guard against it myself, I have to remember that it’s not all about me and what I have to say, but it’s about the other person too.

So here’s to small talk and to conversations that develop relationships with the people who make you smile and laugh, who are there when you need to cry and whine, who allow you to be who you are without judgment or criticism, who will stand by your side through whatever life tosses at you!

Go out and have an awesome conversation with someone today!

Paula

*any resemblance to real or imagined individuals, living or dead, is purely unintentional.  All opinions here are solely the opinion of the author. If you see yourself in this post , oops!

Let’s Get our Brave On!

Frozen Disney Movie HD Wallpaper - HD WallpapersFor my blog posting today I guess I am taking the easy way out but I have to share this. There is a song from the movie Frozen that I think is amazing. I have not seen the movie but heard the song on one of the many awards shows we are overwhelmed with at the beginning of every year. The song is Brave by Sara Bareilles. Take a moment to really read these words and think about them and how you can apply them to your life. And then let’s all get our Brave on!

You can be amazing
You can turn a phrase into a weapon or a drug
You can be the outcast
Or be the backlash of somebody’s lack of love
Or you can start speaking up
Nothing’s gonna hurt you the way that words do
When they settle ‘neath your skin
Kept on the inside and no sunlight
Sometimes the shadow wins
But I wonder what would happen if you

Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave
With what you want to say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave
I just want to see you
I just want to see you
I just want to see you
I wanna see you be brave
I just want to see you
I just want to see you
I just want to see you
I wanna see you be brave

Everybody’s been there, everybody’s been stared down
By the enemy
Fallen for the fear and done some disappearing
Bow down to the mighty
Don’t run, stop holding your tongue
Maybe there’s a way out of the cage where you live
Maybe one of these days you can let the light in
Show me how big your brave is

Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave
With what you want to say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

And since your history of silence
Won’t do you any good
Did you think it would?
Let your words be anything but empty
Why don’t you tell them the truth?

Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave
With what you want to say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

Be brave today with the words you share, but share those words in love.

Paula

No Regrets

No RegrestI saw this photo posted on Facebook and loved its simple yet profound message.  (And to give credit where credit is due, my husband suggested it would make a great blog post, thank you so much for the suggestion.)

Learning to see what the many people bring to our lives is so important.  Not everyone is a friend, not everyone is an enemy, some people are there for a season, some are there for a lifetime.  Keep the good and best people  and forgive the bad and worse ones.

I wish for you the people that give you happiness and memories.  I wish for you the strength to forgive the ones who give you a bad experience and lessons, and that you will take those bad experiences and lessons and move forward with your life.

May you always be one of the best people in others lives and give happiness and  memories.

Paula

On a side note:  If you have never seen the movie UP, I highly recommend this wonderful animated movie for youngsters and adults alike.  It has a great message about life and living it to the fullest while you can with the ones you love.  Live every day to the fullest, enjoy life, share your dreams with the ones you love, and find a way to live those dreams.  I realize we can’t just stop what we are doing, quit our jobs and go live our dreams, but if we stop, think and get creative I imagine a number of us could find a way, and the funds to live our dream or a variation of that dream.