TOO BUSY to keep in touch,

I wonder why it seems so difficult for people to keep in touch. I realize everyone is busy with life and some times it’s all one can do to just get through the day, but with all this modern technology surely everyone has a couple minutes at some point in their day or week to pop off a quick text or email to someone just to touch base, to say hi, or thinking of you.

It’s easy and doesn’t require a long conversational reply from the recipient, but it can sometimes make a world of difference in their life. How many times has a person come across your thoughts, and you think “I really should call or text them just to say hi” but you don’t because you are too busy? You have no idea what is going on in that person’s life at that very moment and your contact however small may have made a world of difference to them. Think back to a low moment in your life, and we have all had them, when that phone call, email or text came through and suddenly things looked a bit brighter and you knew you had someone somewhere who was thinking of you, and you were not alone. Honestly, if we get too busy that we stop heeding that small voice we hear in our hearts then we are frankly TOO BUSY.

So, my friends, the next time your heart speaks to you take the time to reach out to that person. We should never be too busy to show we care about others. And as independent and self sufficient as we like to think we are, the truth is there are so many people in our lives that care about us and just want to know we care about them.

So, one of my goals for this New Year is to listen to that voice in my heart more often and too never be TOO BUSY to reach out to someone. I hope you will do the same.

Be blessed,

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What is true Beauty?

Thru the yearsWhat is Beauty, what is sexy?

What is your definition of beauty or sexy? Everyone’s is different and influenced by so many outside forces, but take a minute and consider these questions.

Is beauty or sexy defined by six pack abs, toned muscles, light scruff on the face, tousled hair, or lean perfect curves, long flowing hair, perfect smile, perfect teeth?

Or is it that man or woman who has stuck by you all these years?

The one who endured pregnancy, stretch marks, morning sickness and child birth so that special addition could be added to your family?

Is it the one who was with you when your parent died and held you up as you grieved?

Is it the one who helped you survive those early sleepless nights with your baby and the terrible twos?

The one who you held on to during those fun teenage years (if you had daughters, through those pre teens too)?

Is it the one who loved you despite hormonal changes that turned you into someone you did not want to be?

Is it the one who stayed home and raised your children so they could be brought up with the values and morals that were important to both of you?

Is it the one who works hard to provide for your family, working long hours and weekends when necessary so the family could have a good life?

Is it the one who just shook their head and said “I am glad you are okay” when you wreck the car yet again?

Is it the one who even though your hair has turned grey, there’s a few more wrinkles on your face, and a little roll around your middle still thinks you are beautiful or handsome?

Whatever your definition is, remember sometimes you don’t have to look any further than your own backyard to see what is beautiful and sexy, its been there all the time.

Don’t let Hollywood’s definition of beauty and sexy define for you what really is beautiful and sexy in your life.

 

*any resemblance to real or imagined individuals, living or dead, is purely unintentional.  All opinions here are solely the opinion of the author. If you see yourself in this post, oops!

What does my electronic use say? or Do I really need to check that now?

ElectronicsWhat does your electronic use say? or Do I really need to check that now?

Let me start by first saying I am talking to myself here, and by no means pointing fingers at anyone.

I love technology. I use it a lot, perhaps too much. I am seldom without my iphone or ipad. I have a laptop computer and a netbook. But I wonder what my constant use of my electronics says about me. When I am with someone, anyone, and I decide I need to check my iphone for messages or texts, what does that say to the person I am with? Does it say, I am bored, you are not interesting, there is someplace I would rather be, there is something I would rather be doing? What does it say about me that I can’t sit though an evening with someone without checking my iphone for texts or emails, or even check my Facebook account for updates from anyone?

I know it’s hard to not be connected with the outside world. I know that I enjoy the occasional updates on Facebook, and the connection with family and friends, but unless it’s a true emergency is it necessary to sit in a public or even private setting with someone and constantly check my phone?

When was the last time I sat for an evening with my husband and neither of us constantly checked our iphone, or played with our ipad? Why has that become an extension of our time together? Can we change that?

I challenge myself and everyone who reads my blog to spend an evening with your significant other, a friend, or a group of friends without checking your smart phone or ipad or other electronics for updates about people you are not physically with at that moment. Go on a date with your significant other, or simply watch TV together, sure it may not be a movie or a show you are particularly interested in, but I am sure there are many times they have watch something with you that didn’t interest them at the time, so enjoy the time together and don’t worry about what you are watching. Take a walk together, hold hands (not phones), talk and enjoy the world around you. (Now I am not saying leave your phones at home, they do come in handy for that occasional photo opportunity or in case of an emergency, but put them away during the walk.) Go to a movie, silence that phone. Go out to dinner, silence that phone. I don’t necessarily agree with the policy or practice of leaving phones at home, or turning them completely off, especially if you have teenagers, aged parents, small children at home, but if it is a true emergency and not just a “what is for dinner” question, or “when will you be home”, or “can Susie spend the night question”, the caller or texter will leave a message, and at some point, you will check it out.

I don’t’ know how many will actually attempt this challenge but if you do I would love to hear how it went. My husband and I are planning a stay at home vacation for a couple days soon and I think I will do my very best to not be totally connected to my electronics so we can hang out, do fun things and really enjoy each other’s company without that ‘third party’ known as the smart phone interrupting out time together.

Paula

*any resemblance to real or imagined individuals, living or dead, is purely unintentional.  All opinions here are solely the opinion of the author. If you see yourself in this post, oops!

Detours and Delays

Stress and AttitudeDetours and Delays

How do you handle the little detours and delays in your daily life?

You know what I mean, the unexpected explosion of a carbonated beverage leaving you cleaning up what seems like an ever expanding mess.

That tipped over glass of milk when you are running late.

The accidental use of hair spray as your deodorant, or the deodorant as your hair spray.

That flat tire as you are heading out in the morning.

The empty gas gauge from when someone else used your car.

The need for cupcakes for today’s kindergarten class that you just found out about.

The spot on that blouse you were planning on wearing to work today.

That stalled traffic on the highway when you are running late for an appointment.

The power goes out, the water is off, and so many other detours and delays that can happen in a day that disrupt your plans, your schedule and your life.

These things happen, and how we handle them can show our family, friends and even strangers our true character.

I know it’s hard to smile when these things happen, but knowing they do happen and there really isn’t much you can do about it or really plan for them that will definitely help your attitude. Don’t look at them as inconveniences but as learning and teaching experiences. Learning to laugh in the face of inconveniences, detours and delays will not only be an example to others but will certainly keep your blood pressure down.

So the next time a detour or delay stumbles into your plans for the day, take a moment to consider that perhaps there is something God is trying to show you. After all life is too short to spend any of it angry and upset over something that you didn’t know was going to happen.

May you have a wonderful detour and delay free day!

Paula

*any resemblance to real or imagined individuals, living or dead, is purely unintentional.  All opinions here are solely the opinion of the author. If you see yourself in this post, oops!

Matthew 6:27 – Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

Ecclesiastes 7:9 – Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools.

Resistance is NOT Futile

Facebook Collective

Resistance is NOT futile or Facebook Collective

I met a most unusual human on Friday. This human had not yet been assimilated into the collective of the Facebook society. I was amazed that they had escaped being sucked into the vortex of social media and yet they seemed perfectly happy with their status. I wondered how people are able to remain in the neutral zone of social media. How they have not yet ventured into the restricted or collective zone of Facebook. How are they surviving? How are they maintaining communication with their home world? How do they get the necessary information to function on a daily basis without the combined input of all of those currently in the collective known as Facebook?

And yet there are those who have managed to avoid being assimilated into this world. They are normal looking humans who seem perfectly happy to go about their daily lives gaining what they need from verbal communication and interaction. They do not need to be hooked into the collective to get what they need to make their choices, decisions and their reactions are entirely based on what they feel and think. It seems rather illogical!

Of course there are those who are on the rim of the neutral zone, not quite entirely assimilated into the collective, but just testing the waters, accessing the collective occasionally but still able to operate without it. There are those who have managed to escape total assimilation after having been in for a while, they have managed to find the fine balance between that neutral zone and the restricted zone of the collective. To them I say congratulations, you are back to being a normal human being enjoying real live. To those of us still struggling with a balance I say keep on trying, there will come a time when you will be able to resist the collective’s voice and will be able to control what level of assimilation you allow.   You will once again be able to carry on an entire conversation without once accessing the collective.  You will be able to respond to human voices and make eye to eye contact again.

As for myself, I am still working on making my level assimilation work for me and working on that fine line between being totally immersed into the collective and being just immersed enough that I can use the information there to help me accomplish what ever my current mission is.

Resistance is NOT futile.

Paula

(and yes there is a lot of Star Trek references in here on purpose, so now you know I am a scifi geek too.)

*any resemblance to real or imagined individuals, living or dead, is purely unintentional.  All opinions here are solely the opinion of the author. If you see yourself in this post, oops!

Be Yourself

Be YourselfI love this photo that was recently posted on Facebook.  It reminds me to be who I am, who God intended me to be and not to try to fit into a mold that is not me to please others.  I am who God made me to be, I need to remind myself of that and continue to seek His guidance in what I do and say.  How I respond to people and situations may not be the ideal way or the way others respond, but it is how I respond and that counts.  There is not necessary always a right and wrong way to respond but there is always different ways.  And different doesn’t make it wrong.  I am still learning who I am, it’s a continuous ongoing process.  I am not afraid to grow and learn, and I am not afraid to change, if the change is my idea.  I am stepping out into areas that are new to me, and I am learning as I go.  It’s an adventure and it’s mine to take.  I hope that everyone who reads this post takes to heart what the photo says and grows in confidence in who they are, but is still willing to make changes that they may need to make to become even more of who they are intended to be.  Have a wonderful day.  Here’s to being yourself.

The battle against Breast Cancer is far from over.

ImageThis is a short post today dedicated to all those women who have had to fight the battle against breast cancer.

I took this photo over the weekend while visiting with my good friend and her daughter in Charleston, SC.  We were there for the Dragon Boat Races of Charleston which support Breast Cancer research and honors the survivors and all those who have lost the fight against this horrible disease.

When I look at this photo I see tranquility, peacefulness and a sense of anticipation for the journey that one can not know the end of.  A journey that would need to begin with someone taking the first step into the unknown.  A journey that many face when getting the diagnosis of breast cancer, a journey they do not know the end to but have to have the courage to step out and begin it.  I have been blessed with good health and have not had to experience the fear and anticipation that one does when hearing those words “you have breast cancer”.  I pray for all those who are going through this or know someone who is fighting this battle and will continue to support Breast Cancer Research in any way I can.

Many blessings to all of you.

Paula

 

The 5 Love Languages

Have you read the books by Gary Chapman entitled, The 5 Love Languages?  If you have not then I strongly suggest you get your hands on one of these books.  Mr. Chapman has written a number of versions of his original The 5 Love Languages including The 5 Love Languages of Singles, The 5 Love Languages of Children and The 5 Love Languages of Teenagers.  These books will help you mature the many relationships you have in your life in a way that is truly meaningful.   These books will not only help you learn your own love language but also help you understand your spouse, child or teenager, friends and co-workers.  Don’t like to read, they come in e-books and audio editions too.

Below is a post that was on Facebook recently, it summarizes the 5 Love Languages and include do’s and don’ts.  While the chart is self-explanatory I still recommend getting a hold of a copy of whichever of the versions of The 5 Love Languages you are interested in and really getting into the reasoning and logic behind each love language.

I have read The 5 Love Languages and The 5 Love Languages of Teenagers.  And while at times I still struggle to keep in mind the differences between myself and my husband and how we respond differently to the love languages, I have that knowledge as a resource and as a helpful reminder that we are all different and we all respond differently to affection, friendship, and emotional stimulus.

I hope that you will benefit as much as I have from The 5 Love Languages and would love to get your feedback.

Paula

*any resemblance to real or imagined individuals, living or dead, is purely unintentional.  All opinions here are solely the opinion of the author. If you see yourself in this post, oops!

Love Languages

Let’s talk talking or what is my talking style?

ConversationsLet’s talk talking. You know that almost lost art of communication where people speak words to each other verbally. Now those that know me, know I like to text, and if you truly know me you know why, but for those who don’t know me or know why it is because I find that texting is sometimes a more convenient way to ‘talk’ to someone because I don’t know if their current situation will allow verbal communication or perhaps it is my current situation does not allow it and to be honest I am a lot more articulate on “paper” than I am verbally.

With that being said, let’s talk talking.

There seems to be a few different styles of talking or communicating verbally. There is the monologue style.   According to one definition a monologue is “a prolonged talk or discourse by a single speaker, especially one dominating or monopolizing a conversation.”  Now I admit there are times when a monologue is appropriate, such as, comedians, teachers, professors, CEO’s, etc… But I am sure we all know someone outside of those examples who just can’t help themselves they monopolize conversations.

The next talking style is the ever popular lecture style. A lecture is defined as “a speech of warning or reproof as to conduct; a long, tedious reprimand.” This is where a monologue could end up if you are not careful and attune to your ‘audiences’ reactions. This is what we were regularly accused of giving to our children when they were young. “The Lecture.” The beginning of the lecture (and they knew it was coming) was usually preceded by eye rolls from our girls, then the zoned out look about half way through. If we had been smart we would have stopped sooner but we didn’t always follow our gut and just stop so sometimes it didn’t end as well as we had hoped. I wondered sometimes we thought that after we had to ‘lecture’ our daughters they were going to say “Oh thank you mommy and daddy for that lecture, you are so right and I was so wrong?” Yeah right, that never happened!

Finally there is the conversational style of talking. A Conversation is defined as “informal interchange of thoughts, information, etc., by spoken words; oral communication between persons; talk; colloquy (a conversational exchange, dialogue).”

I like conversations.  I like this definition because it says an informal interchange of thoughts and information. I like the give and take of an informal conversation. Unlike the monologue or the lecture, which tend to focus on one topic, conversations can be about anything and everything and all in the same conversation.  I like the sharing of ideas, thoughts, and opinions in an informal, non threatening atmosphere. I also like the ‘small talk’ that happens when you are first getting to know someone. The easy questions you ask to learn more about them. I enjoy the ‘small talk’ that happens when you get together with friends and family as you catch up on their lives. I like laughing about things with people. I personally don’t think all conversations have to be in-depth, probing, serious or based on current affairs. Sometimes it’s just nice to talk to someone about little things, silly things and know that they are listening to you with genuine interest and to return that interest by listening to them. There is a time and place for serious conversations but be aware that there is a fine line between talking “with” someone (conversation) and talking “at” someone (lecture or monologue). Remembering this is important to having true conversations with people and developing those relationships that are important to you.

So the next time you are engaged in conversation with someone think about it, are you really conversing or are you engaging in a monologue or a lecture? Are you allowing that person to share their own thoughts and ideas or are you dominating the conversation with your own thoughts and ideas?   It’s an easy trap to fall into.  I have to guard against it myself, I have to remember that it’s not all about me and what I have to say, but it’s about the other person too.

So here’s to small talk and to conversations that develop relationships with the people who make you smile and laugh, who are there when you need to cry and whine, who allow you to be who you are without judgment or criticism, who will stand by your side through whatever life tosses at you!

Go out and have an awesome conversation with someone today!

Paula

*any resemblance to real or imagined individuals, living or dead, is purely unintentional.  All opinions here are solely the opinion of the author. If you see yourself in this post , oops!

Let’s Get our Brave On!

Frozen Disney Movie HD Wallpaper - HD WallpapersFor my blog posting today I guess I am taking the easy way out but I have to share this. There is a song from the movie Frozen that I think is amazing. I have not seen the movie but heard the song on one of the many awards shows we are overwhelmed with at the beginning of every year. The song is Brave by Sara Bareilles. Take a moment to really read these words and think about them and how you can apply them to your life. And then let’s all get our Brave on!

You can be amazing
You can turn a phrase into a weapon or a drug
You can be the outcast
Or be the backlash of somebody’s lack of love
Or you can start speaking up
Nothing’s gonna hurt you the way that words do
When they settle ‘neath your skin
Kept on the inside and no sunlight
Sometimes the shadow wins
But I wonder what would happen if you

Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave
With what you want to say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave
I just want to see you
I just want to see you
I just want to see you
I wanna see you be brave
I just want to see you
I just want to see you
I just want to see you
I wanna see you be brave

Everybody’s been there, everybody’s been stared down
By the enemy
Fallen for the fear and done some disappearing
Bow down to the mighty
Don’t run, stop holding your tongue
Maybe there’s a way out of the cage where you live
Maybe one of these days you can let the light in
Show me how big your brave is

Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave
With what you want to say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

And since your history of silence
Won’t do you any good
Did you think it would?
Let your words be anything but empty
Why don’t you tell them the truth?

Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave
With what you want to say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

Be brave today with the words you share, but share those words in love.

Paula